Everyday I write the book...

Elvis Costello wrote a cleverly titled song called, "Everyday I write the book." It was a song talking about a love relationship that never really flourished, however, it continued to be a work in progress. What a great concept.

I have had such a relationship as well. It has been going on since 2003. My wife and I bought a Saturn VUE in 2003 and let's just say I concluded the book yesterday. I may waste my money on gumball machines, cotton candy, big foam cowboy hats, big bags of baked potato chips filled with factory air or 7 things from the dollar store that I can throw on the kitchen counter...BUT I will NOT give Saturn or GM another penny of my money. My feelings for Saturn kinda parallel Johnny Cash's feelings for San Quentin.

Amy took the Saturn in yesterday for a routine oil change. The check engine light had come on, but that was not out of the ordinary because we were overdue for our regular oil change. She dropped it off and the service tech "RICK" told her that we'll have you taken care of shortly. He did return shortly with the keys and thanked her for the service and she stepped up to counter to pay. The bill was $158 (?) some odd dollars....what? give me a break!? When questioned, he said that they had do a diagnostic test to determine why the check engine light was coming on. There is one problem to that scenario - He never said they were doing a diagnostic test and furthermore, the diagnostic test came back negative meaning they didn't know why it came on in the first place. In Layman's terms, a rip off.

I called the service manager and had a good ole 'Jed to Jethro' long talk with him. I told him that I have been providing him a living since 2003. I also told him that as far as I was concerned, there is only 1 Saturn dealership in the world and that's in North Little Rock. I conveyed to him that your dealership's service has continually been at the bottom of the barrel, and most of all I'm completely sick of it. His response was, "I appreciate your business since 2003 and will give you a free oil change the next time you come in." And let me say this cat was not the nicest guy in the world and had the personality of Ben Stein hopped up muscle relaxers. I wanted to ask him if I could get 2 free oil changes so I crap on one and cover it up with the other, but I didn't. I guess I'm better than that, barely.

I pleasantly declined his offer and I told him, "You see, Sir, I've been writing this book since 2003 and I guess today is the day that I'm going to have to finish it. I'm moving on. Thank you for taking my call."

Reasons not to purchase a Saturn at Saturn of Greater Little Rock:

1. It's a Saturn - Things that went wrong just within the first 3 years that I can remember:
2 defrosters went out, 1 stering column, had to re-configure the transmission, cd player skipping, heated seat quit working, battery died and left us stranded out of town over a weekend and lost a day's wages (Memphis/LR), one night trip we had a bug get in the car and we lowered the windows down and it blew out a fuse and we had to make the whole 2 hour trip w/ the windows down with a newborn. When we called the next day, the recommendation was to bring it in for diagnostic testing (100 mile round trip with windows down in 100 degree temps with a newborn). We finally convinced them it may be a fuse. They said maybe. After a long time of hassling them, they finally told us right where to go and we changed it ourself. Go figure.

2. Poor, Poor Customer Service

3. Location is terrible - It's like playing double dutch in high speed traffic - Real life Frogger

4. Only 1 Saturn that's anywhere close to you - You feel like you are on an episode of Survivor, but you are not getting paid for it. You are paying them!
If you have any trouble, you will have to have it towed. If it's under warranty, you will run into other problems if it's towed to other Saturns because they will not honor from Saturn to Saturn. Sounds stupid, but believe me. I've had one since 2003. I've lived it my friend and I've got the scars to prove it.

In case you are wondering:
Saturn of Greater Little Rock
5105 Warden Rd
North Little Rock, AR 72116